SarahOcean: Poetry

I'm Depressed

Thu, 15 Feb 2007 08:29:15 GMT

Sit Down before I fall

See the window where it's all wrong

There's always things that create a wall

Can't explain, to you the words of this song

Where Did I lose my way

I had it all together before

Never would have let things go astray

Cant take this anymore

I was your perfect little girl

Then went flying in a hurricane

My life all awhirl

Now full of hurt and pain

I feel like virginity losing herself

See the sparkle in my eyes, gone

I'm not here but on a shelf

Went running in the Ocean

I'm not back

I'm all happy in disguise

I'm not keeping track

I'm not I'm not I'm not taking tries

What took my life away?

What can we talk about anymore

You over there me over here

See, that don't wash up on the shore

No more sunshine, nothings clear

I'm depressed, Will someone catch me

I'm falling

Will someone see

I'm calling

Is it too late

Maybe this is how it's supposed to be

Maybe fate

This is not me

It's like the same song playing over again in my mind

I can't tell you why I'm here now

I'm not the reason kind

Where did I go wrong some how

Am I not good enough

Spinning around in circles in here

You made me out to be so tough

Now It's all not so clear

I'm looking for the missing link

Give me some kind of an idea here

When do I stop and think

Is it living that I fear

Don't tell me stay if I decide to leave

You don't know me inside

Ask not for it and you won't recieve

It's depression, see I decide

Yes, I decide decide when I died

Written By Sarah Ocean On 2-15-07 Copyright Protected!

I searched for you

Thu, 28 Dec 2006 21:56:19 GMT

I searched for you in darkness as I watched you fall,
In glory you sought out, an endless haunting smile,
You were the warrior in the name of love, with a heart as true as mine,
And how I longed to be the one to save you from that time,
You fought through dark forests, and thick tangles of thorns,
Came through bruised, and muddied, heartbroken and torn,
I called to you as you wandered trying to navigate you through the miles,
I cried for you and longed for you and prayed for you all the while,
I watched you falling time and again and knew each time you struggled to your feet,
That each time the battle took from you more than what could be seen,
And each peice you lost I hid away, retrieved from the scattered remains,
And held them close to my heart so they would not die and fade away,
But be kept warm and safe, in my care and in my trust,
To one day return to you when you returned to us, I
And how the battle raged, and how we fought and swore,
That in the end we would find a way to slam that f***ing door,
In one night I looked for you alone in desperation, I took no faith to light my way, but ran through the trees in pure frustration,
I could not find you, I could not find myself...
for the light that I had always shone had somehow been blown out,
I thought that someone would come for me,
I thought that I could be brave,
But the wind was cold, and the trees were eerie and it was then I knew,
The peices that I held for you were waiting in my care,
But the pieces that you carried with you would soon feel the same as here,
And as I stood alone and scared, my warmth began to chill,
My heart was tired, and sad and afraid and so I hid it upon the shelf,
How I looked so out of place among everything black and grey,
I started off on my own - I would not stand and wait,
No one would come look for me and I would have to find my way,
I swallowed hard that lump in my throat and when it hit my stomach it began to burn,
Angrier and angrier I grew with every twisting turn,
I reached the edge of the blackness and no victory did I feel,
But alone, and solid, and quiet and still
I looked back over my shoulder and nothing of you remained,
No traces of you, or the softness I shod, or remnants of where we had begun,
In a new field, empty and bland, I took off my armour and roamed the land,
Along the travels I found to forget the forest but never you.
I wondered once where the pieces went, and if you ever found them,
Wrapped tenderly in an embroidered cloth, in the place where we once sat,
Where jasmine winds blew softly under blue skies that gently wept,
I wondered if you would have noticed, how I hid them safely in that tree,
The one with branches a hundred years old, and initials for the world to see,
I wondered if you ever noticed, while you wandered in that place,
If you felt the smile your name warming my face, or the tears that fell,
I wondered if you felt an angel, while you fought your way through hell.
I wondered and wondered and then I simply stopped,
My heart broken, my faith lost,
I functioned as the rules demand,
With sharper wit, and quicker hand,
No softness to be found inside,
No softness but behind my eyes.
And then one day - you called for me,
your sweet voice shook me from myself,
The wind blew the tattered coat across my path,
and my heart burst from off that shelf,
I panicked, you would just leave me again,
You never really knew,
It was my faith that misled my heart to long for you,
It was not your fault, you didn't know to look for me in there,
And so I swallowed hard and replied - I am here.
You took me by the hand and dragged me back,
To where we had begun,
You showed me how to follow you through the blackness,
And where I had gone wrong,
I cried and screamed and wouldn't budge
But you held and carried me on, you made me walk through
there again, you did it so I could believe,
And as we went I watched you,
And I saw that you had known,
You felt your angel, you held him, as you held him now,
I looked down in shame for leaving my faith behind,
It was not you that left me there - it was I.
You took my chin and raised my head and made me look again,
With new eyes I saw, and things were as they were then,
I was there with those pieces of you at that sacred tree,
I rushed and retreived that tender cloth, tattered and dusty,
and there they were,
I folded back the layers softly,
Alive and warm and as I stared I felt you once again,
And there I was in the jasmine wind, tears of joy instead.
I looked up to show them to you, but you were not there,
I sat at the edge of the black woods waiting wondering where you had gone,
I sat and waited and remembered how terrifying they were without you along,
I sat and waited and remembered, how easy it was to get lost,
I sat and waited and remembered, how far away I had gone,
I sat and closed my eyes, and tried to see where you were,
You were sitting on the other side, just within the shadows,
Just beyond my reach, you sat there huddled, crying,
Beneath a towering black tree, with limbs a hundred years old,
And I saw that it was the same, and in your hand a tattered cloth,
Pieces of me you had gathered along, found amongst the darkness,
An dark lock you held in your palm,
I saw you there, I saw what you held, I screamed for you as never before,
I felt the fear in your heart as you thought to dissapear,
I stood at the treeline and called to you, please come to me you'll see...
Look into my eyes and find the softness you hold in your hand is alive,
I will close my eyes and let you lead me, I have found my faith again,
I will not remember you in the darkness, if you let me see you once in this light,
I will not leave you in that cold armour, if you will let me hold you once,
I remember the forest, but I will not burn it down, I will walk with you whenever we must make it through,
I remember you crying, and falling, but I will not have seen a thing,
In my eyes you will see, and you will find these peices I have held for you, tenderness, love, passion, softness, trust...
Come to me I begged you, let me hold you in my arms,
Let me surround you with bright shining light keeps you safe from harm,
Let me wrap myself around you like a well of towering walls, where you are safe and sleep my love, and awake to see my face,
I will hold you always, and we will never stray apart,
No matter where you go I will be with you, and together we start,
Those trees will come together, the treeline will dissapear,
The two worlds will merge at last, and love will overcome your fears,
We will not forget, but we will not be afraid,
We will make new memories, but we will not erase,
Just overcome what holds us back from the light we long to feel,
And overpowering everything else, with what we make so real...
I waited for you and you did not move, you sat and thought and thought,
I grew angry with you and wondered if you had just wanted to return me here,
Maybe you were not coming with me after all..
I walked in circles and wondered, and tried to backtrack through everywhere we had been,
I questioned you I questioned me, was my faith misleading me again,
Was I right after all - that you did not know your angel followed,
Did you not see all that I thought you had - why did you question me...
But I had the peices, but I stood gaurd, but I called for you again and again,
Why do you hide from me, why must I feel this way again...
I ran around in circles until I saw
A mirror standing between us two
For every step I took - you took one the same,
When I reached my hand out towards you and called your name,
You heard and called back, and longed for me as well,
And when I waited for you to reach first, you backed away,
In anger I threw a rock and shattered it in shards,
Gathered them as they cut my hands and buried them far away,
The blood that flowed stained my coat and the grass along the way,
Reminders of where I had been all along this way...
I walked to the edge of the crystal pond and washed it all away,
I shook my hair in the jasmine wind and let you sit and pray,
You asked for guidance, you asked for light, you asked for sun to rid the night,
I heard you but I did not panic this time, I already knew...
I walked with my head held high, and I breathed that jasmine air,
I held my hand to the gentle rain that fell, and felt it's warmth at last,
I sat again at my spot by the tree, and breathed silently and deep,
I gathered the earth in my hands, and held your pieces in it,
I closed my eyes and found you again in my mind's eye,
I reached for you there instead, and sent the light to surround you,
I watched as it shot forth from my chest like a bright white burning fire,
I watched as it hit you and your eyes grew wide
I watched as you felt it, and it shook you
I watched as it returned to me, leaving the path before you lit,
The trees moved and the sun shone, showing you the way,
I opened my eyes,I stand at the end still, calling your name,
And when you are ready - and have caught your breath, you will take to your feet,
In the mirror you will see me walking to you, sure and safe, and in love,
And when we reach the middle, you will look into my eyes and see,
And fall into my arms at last,
And the winds will blow softly, and the sun will shine,
And I will lay with you there always, until the end of time.

Oh how my heart loves thee

Wed, 08 Nov 2006 04:18:22 GMT

Oh how my heart loves thee!

Why is it you can't see?

Oh how my hands long to touch your beautiful face.

The memories of you, time cannot erase

And as the tears fall,

I want to hold you!

Do you know that

All this time I have been true!

I wish you could be mine forever

I wish the ties would never sever.

I wanted your kiss not to part from my lips.

If you are not my love,

then why does my heart whisper your name?

Why, baby can you not feel the same?

Oh gorgeous how my arms long to hold thee,

Will you ever be able to love me?

Will I ever look into your eyes again?

Written By Sarah Ocean

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The Goddess By Sarah Ocean

Sun, 03 Sep 2006 16:57:38 GMT

The Goddess

I didn't remember her love,

Until I found her name written in the stars!

I found the beauty of her smile in the moon,

and I cried.

She's given me so many gifts,

and for so long

I unknowingly turned them away.

But now, just as sure as the sun will climb the hills
and warm the valley,

I embrace them,

just as she embraces me,

and plays with my hair

through a gentle breeze.

I walked through life

so lonely so lost!

Then the slow tropical rain

wiped away my tears,

and I know the sweet scent of orange

is her blanket of love!

Everytime I feel the ocean wash over my feet,

Everytime I smell that salty sea air

I know that she and I are one.

When I'm surrounded by the crisp mountain air

When I feel the rivers running wild

I feel her dance into my soul.

And I know,

Yes I do know,

that she really does love me!

I NEVER KNEW

Sat, 10 Jun 2006 05:10:06 GMT

I never knew

I never knew you were out there.

I never knew I was alone.

I finally found you and you complete me.

I finally have you and you make me whole.

I never knew you were out there.

I never knew I was alone.

Now I know that you are here,

I will never let you go.

I know that you and I belong together,

now I know my soul.

I never knew you were out there,

but here you are with me.

I never knew I was alone

and now I'll never be.

Written By, Sarah Ocean on 6-9-06